Often the message is very direct in telling the reader that he is a stupid fool. You wouldn't accept it from your boss, but the approach is so slap in the face that the brutality is felt as amusing.
You are a stupid ass(1) strips the donkey without shame. Here comes the text. People with a less than exceptionally good health should skip the next few lines. The original is in Dutch and sounds worse than the translation!
You are a stupid ass if you won't come by during our open house days. And we can't keep stupid asses on stock, unfortunately. That would be difficult, you know, because with the exhaustive choice on offer it is certain that even an ass shall not make the same mistake twice. But our business is more than only stones …This is priceless. People are actually getting paid for this.
Some people do not want to know how much they can save on heating
(3).
Some people, not you, of course. The first paragraph makes sure that you don't
feel offended by the opening statement. Intelligent people will follow the
suggestions of the advertisement.
stupid asspath. Refreshing, that is.
Working for optimal results
(4) stresses the importance of being
able of making the difference between essentials and lesser things. Our jockey
got the attire right, but better had had a closer look to his horse.
The donkey isn't the main actor in this play.
A good asset management requires tools which are as good as you are
(5) and
that is underscored with Rule 7: Even the best jockey needs a good horse
.
So far so good. But the closing sentence sounds like … a way to stay upright
in the saddle and obtain good results.
and that is not entirely right. The guy
is perfectly safe in his saddle. A horse is unlikely to be an improvement on that.
Donkey's milk was Cleopatra's pick of the bag
(6).
It was rather awkward though. Today it is much more convenient to rub in some
bodymilk (only if you want the best there is
).